I've got soul but I'm not a soldier

I scared a baby today.

It was awesome.

I've been thinking about the fact that I don't like kids, and how that plays into the fact that I am a mother and more of my friends are becoming parents. I don't really think it's that I don't like kids - I don't like parents. And not necessarily all parents - I don't like parents who don't parent their kids. You know the kind of parents I'm talking about; they let their kids "try the grapes" at the grocery store, they let their kids act like demons on crack at McDonalds and push little kids and run past them without so much as an "excuse me", etc.

I took Joey to the zoo last week and couldn't take 10 steps without seeing an example of children being nonparented or parents nonparenting their children. Just because you are in the confined general area of "The Zoo" does not mean you may let your heathens run amok and dart in and out and around other people, especially those pulling wagons or pushing strollers. Teach your kids to wait their turn and not push aside the 3 year old who merely wants to glance at the animal before moving on. Hold your kid's hand, which will unfortunately mean you'll have to put down your cell phone. I promise, it will be okay.

I like the parents who hold the door open for the lady pulling the wagon and wearing the obligatory backpack full of her kid's crap (that's me!). And the mom who tells her kids to make room for Joey so he can see the monkeys too. And the mom who saw some future juvenile delinquents push Joey out of the way while he tried feed a parakeet, then made room for him to feed the one her daughter was playing with.

I want to know where all the nice parents hang out - art fairs, environmental rallies, outdoor music festivals - and go there. Our kids will play barefoot in a field of flowers free of pesticides, and we'll have an organic picnic wearing dye-free linen. One of the dads will pull out a guitar and we'll teach our children songs like "The Rainbow Connection" while the moms braid daisy chain crowns. As the sun sets we'll pack up our hybrids and know we left our field of hope and dreams as clean as we found it.

*sigh*

Can your kid at least not push my kid?